Opportunity

"Opportunity is missed by a lot of people, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work" - 

Thomas Edison

Imagine

"

It was 30 years ago today,  John Lennon was taken away. 

"You may say I 'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

Happy Holidaze!

The Titanic

"Physicians are like stewards on the Titanic - all they can do is re-arrange the seating order."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving

"Some hae meat and canna eat

And some wad eat that want it;

But we hae meat and we can eat

Sae let the Lord be thankit" - 

Robert Blake

Civil War

"Well the Civil War, boys - they said it was fate.  
The reason for fighting,  I never got straight. 
But I learned to accept it and accept it with pride.  
'Cause you don't count the dead, when God's on your side" - Bob Dylan

Hunting

            Hunting will become a sport when deers carry 12 gauge shot guns

Research

Rear View Mirror

"On the road of Life, the rear view mirror is always clearer than the windshield"

Dogs

                "Who let the dogs out?"

Strawberry Fields Forever

 

"Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to...

Strawberry Fields. 

Nothing is real      

             and nothing to hung about. " - John Lennon

Love your Enemies

"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be bastards"

Dreams

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep" -- William Shakespeare

Be who you are

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss

Hell Hath no Fury

'Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned and Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" -  William Congreve"

Happy Halloween!

"Witches, werewolf, elf and sprite 

All are on their rounds tonight 

 In the wan moon's silver rays

Thrives their helter-skelter play"  - Joel Benton

Fine Print

"Education is when you read the fine print.  Experience is what you get if you don't."

Wonderful Evening

'I have had a perfectly wonderful evening... but this wasn't it."  - Groucho Marx

A girl like you.

"I've been looking for a girl like you -- not you, but a girl like you"  -- Groucho Marx

Holes

"First Law of Holes: If you're in one, stop digging". - Dennis Healey

Below Average

Half of the people you know are below average.

Jokes

If you tell a joke in a forest and nobody laughs, was it a joke?

Turn off your mind

 

"Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream..." - John Lennon

Hypochondriacs Anonymous

Hypochondriacs Anonymous.   The first step is the hardest.  

You have to admit that you don't have a problem.

Change

 

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Success

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"

Statistics

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Bad Mechanics

"I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder"

Determination

     
"Neither rain nor snow, nor sleet nor dark of night shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" - U.S. Postal Service motto

Birds

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer.  It sings because it has a song."  - Lou Holtz

Pigs

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us.  Cats look down on us.  But pigs treat us as equals." 

- Winston Churchill

Sept. 22 Frodo's Birthday!

"By rights we shouldn't even be here.  But we are.  It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered.  Full of darkness and danger they were.  And sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy?  How could the world go back to the way it was after so much bad had happened?  But in the end, its only a passing thing, the shadow.  Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer"  -  Samwise Gamgee ( J.R.R. Tolkien)

Rebellion

"A little rebellion now and then is a good thing"  - Thomas Jefferson

Organ Grinder

"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room" - 
Winston Churchill   

Gene Pool

"The problem with the gene pool is there is no lifeguard"

Thanks for the party!

   





















"I can't remember when I've had a better time"

Reading

   
















 "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book -
  I'll waste no time reading it" - Moses Hadas

Kissing cousins

 

















"Listen -Do you want to know a secret?" - Lennon / McCartney

Summer's Almost Gone

Morning found us calmly unaware.  Noon burned gold into our hair. At night, we swam the laughing sea.  But when summer's gone -- where will we be?   --  Jim Morrison

Writing

The three steps of writing a a paper: 

1.  Tell them what you are about to tell them

2.  Tell them. 

3.  Tell them what you just told them. 

The Human Brain

"If the human brain was so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't" -- Emerson Pugh

Waiting

                  













"I took a course in speed waiting.  Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes"  
- Stephen Wright

Lawyers

      












"99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name"

Ambition

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy" - Stephen Wright

Bacteria

 
"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have" - Stephen Wright

Good One

                   















"Whatever you are, be a good one."  - Abraham Lincoln

Congress

     
"One useless man is called a disgrace, two useless men are called a law firm and three or more become a Congress"  -- John Adams

Enchiladas

                   


















"If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!" 
- Jack Handey

Pie Heaven

              
"When you die, if you get a choice between regular heaven and pie heaven, choose pie heaven.  It might be a trick, but if its not, mmmmmmmm, boy!"  -  Jack Handey